I also snooped on the phone. I had very good cause since I felt that not only was my wife having an affair, but also my life was at risk. I was horrified to discover that in fact it was! In that way it was the best thing I ever did, and in other ways, the worst. I tortured myself about my betrayal at the thought of doing it. Worse still, I came across the most horrendous shitty lies about me, which only served to hurl me into a spiral of deep depression where I came too close to taking my own life. Now, thirty years later, I am so glad I did it as it saved my life and revealed what a horror story of a ‘loving’ wife I was married to. In the end, I lived to love again, this time to somebody who is more than worth it.